When a loved one passes, there are many different reactions: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. While not everyone moves through these stages in exactly the same way, it is not uncommon for individuals to be feeling at least one or possibly more during a family funeral. By incorporating family members into the funeral or memorial service, you may be helping them pass through to acceptance. There are several different ways that you can include family members. At Mountain View Funeral Home, we can help you determine what will work best for your particular situation.
Traditionally, pallbearers have been all men. This is because the duty of pallbearers is to physically carry caskets during different times of a funeral. As you can imagine, caskets are quite large and heavy. If you are considering using family members as pallbearers, you might want to include adult (or nearly adult) male children of the deceased. sons-in-law, fathers or brothers to take on this role.
Offering a Eulogy
While you may not want to offer this option to all loved ones, there are certain people who are able to cohesively share their thoughts and feelings during what is a painful and difficult time. Do not be afraid to call upon the orator in your family or circle of friends to present a tribute or speech about the departed. This may be one of the most stirring portions of the final farewell.
Reading Poems or Prayers
While there are limited places for children to participate in a service other than in handing out programs, small gifts, or requesting signatures on the memory book, older children are well-suited to reading a prayer or a poem during the ceremony. This will help them to feel included while working through their own difficult feelings. But we suggest only including children when appropriate. You do not want to force a younger person to participate if they are not comfortable doing so.
Sharing Musical Talents
A family funeral often includes a musical tribute of some nature; either a short piano tune or a vocal that can stir the emotions of the mourners and release some of the pressure of the day. While this is another place that older children can be included, be sure they are up to the task. Even teens and young adults may lack the mental fortitude to perform under these challenging conditions.
Keep these tips in mind to create a family funeral that will bring the entire family closer together, in the peace of knowing that your loved one has gone to their eternal slumber.