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Gilbert Funeral Home | Etiquette

A Gilbert funeral home or one in Mesa, such as Mountain View Funeral Home, can provide insight into appropriate etiquette when attending a funeral or memorial. You may wonder why there might be a question here. Aren’t all funerals and memorials supposed to be formal and conservative? The answer here is not always clear. As our society has shifted toward being more informal, people often are confused about what is acceptable.

Even in the case of a funeral at a Gilbert funeral home, it can be hard to figure out what to wear.  Tradition, as we all know, has dictated wearing black or a dark color. But some of today’s funerals and memorials have drifted to the unconventional. In these cases, family members, or even the deceased, can request that attendees wear a favorite color or style to honor the departed. While untraditional, it is certainly a way to celebrate someone’s life. Of course, if you are uncertain about what to wear, it is always safe to wear dark, conservative attire. Unless otherwise notified, this is the best option.

Sometimes people don’t know what to say when attending a funeral or memorial. Trying to find the right words to comfort family members can be difficult. You want to say something that will let them know that you care and that you are sorry. But, you don’t have to be poetic. Simply saying that you care and that you are sorry can be enough. Your sincerity will shine through. You can also offer to be there and listen if they need someone to talk to. Or, you don’t have to say anything at all. A hug and an empathetic look may be all that someone needs.

A word of caution about what to say…or not say: There are some things that someone in grief may not want to hear. The intentions behind them may seem genuine, but they can have the wrong effect. For example, “I know how you feel” may be said to express empathy. However, the mourner may believe at that moment that you cannot possibly believe you know exactly how they feel.   “At least they lived a long life” is another sentiment to stay away from. While it is certainly true, saying this doesn’t take away the pain of losing a loved one.

If you are ever in doubt about what is appropriate at a funeral or memorial service, you can always consult a Gilbert funeral home or Mesa funeral home, such as Mountain View. We can give you specific direction on what is ok or not ok at a funeral. The general rule of thumb, however, is to keep things simple and heartfelt. Show kindness and respect.  Think about how you might feel if you were in someone else’s shoes.

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